Starting high school I was given this journal. A journal I had no idea what I was going to do with. I was “In love” with the guy who lived in my neighborhood that liked everyone except me, so I started expressing my true thoughts and feelings on paper. Growing up writing down how i felt slowing became how I would communicate what I really wanted to say to people. I wouldn’t write letters or anything, but I’d have to write down everything I knew i wanted to say to someone otherwise I’d constantly beat around the bush. I would sometimes find myself practicing what I was going to say it was so weird. I never been a blunt person, and always cared about hurting other people’s feelings. When I learned to love myself more speaking what was really on my mind became easier for me. I started putting my feelings into consideration first.
Writing still was my escape. My notes in my phone was basically my diary. Before I discovered who I really was reaching out to people to vent was one of my comforts. Unfortunately, that shouldn’t have been but it’s life. We all go through that stage where it seems so much easier to call up our closet friend that we trust and just express what’s bothering us. I would need someone to relate to me or even just agree that the way I was feeling wasn’t wrong. Even still I’d make a joke out of how I was feeling, so people wouldn’t think that I was weak or that the situation even really bothered me that much.
Starting a blog for me was a way I could help myself, but also helping others. Im such a peoples person, and I’ve always been opened to giving others encouraging advice when dealing with something difficult. After experiencing my own personal emotional difficulties putting my thoughts on paper seemed easier. It starting getting to a point to where I couldn’t wait to get to a peaceful place, so I could write.
Honestly, lifestyle blogging has strengthened me more than I thought, as well as others. It has allowed me to put my energy into something positive. It has kept me busy and productive. I’ve invested so much into myself I feel like I can do anything I put my mind to with hard work behind it. I started dreaming big. Telling myself I literally could do anything I wanted to. I started knocking things off my bucket list so why not keep going? The only person stopping me, was me.
Stepping out and promoting yourself isn’t something that everyone can do, and do it with confidence. Its a process and i can honestly say three years ago I thought I was ready for this life, but I’m glad God made me wait In his perfect timing. I would always say I couldn’t wait until I discovered what my hobby or talent was. Everyone around me has side hustles. Doing hair, homework, etc. All I knew was I was a really hard worker. A hard worker that could bust my butt working for someone else. I never use to think highly of myself to think one day i can own my own company/business.
Today, as a 22 year old woman that has found herself through pain and tough times, a women that knows exactly what she wants out of life and willing to work hard for it, a women that seeks God for her peace and happiness CAN! I can see myself doing all that i dream of, and I know how good my God is that he has already designed me to become what I haven’t even thought to dream of yet.
Focusing on finding your purpose in this world is not easy, but it’s so worth it. For you, and the people that need your light.